This post is about freeing yourself from the illusion of ‘lacking time’ by getting clearer, defining a path forward and taking control of the important things in your life. But be prepared; the truth isn’t always easy to swallow.
‘I don’t have time’ – what does this really mean? It’s something that’s said by everyone around us, it’s something we say ourselves both vocally and in our thoughts, but what does it really mean?
This little lie we tell ourselves is both a comfort and an excuse; it’s a convenient way out of accepting responsibility for making the changes that deep down we know we need to make.
If we simply decided that we shouldn’t do something, then we simply wouldn’t, and neither would we make an excuse that is so obviously an excuse. In fact, it is so conveniently obvious that we give it to each other and accept it, passed from one to another and back again until it is embedded in our collective consciousness.
This is as much admission as it is an offering of insight, for it is a trap that I find myself needing to be constantly aware of. From many years spent ‘looking inside’ to the observation of others, through too many client and team meetings to mention, here is what I have learnt ‘I don’t have time’ really means:
I don’t know how or am not willing to:
- take control of my life
- say ‘No’ to the things that don’t really matter (which is like saying ‘Yes’ to the right things)
- stop letting the priorities of others override my own
- learn how to delegate and ‘let go’ of the things that others can and should do
- confront my limitations and take consistent and persistent action to solve or compensate for them
- think beyond today
- clear my head of the negativity and noise created by the urgent things
- keep doing the right things for long enough to receive the benefit
- let go of other peoples’, or my own negative and limiting perceptions
So from all of that observing what do I suggest the answer is?
1. Clarity
How could anyone hope to take control of their life and decide what’s important to them if they have not actually taken the time to work out who they really are.
Ask yourself these questions…
- Who am I?
- What truly fulfils me?
- What do I value?
- What drives me to do what I do?
- What is my simple one sentence purpose in life? *Hint this comes from the heart not the head*.
If you can answer these questions without any reference to external parties’ expectations (this is about you), then you now have a framework for taking control of your life and your time. If you can’t, then we should probably talk, because you are doing yourself (and the world) a disservice.
2. Invest in the important things, not just the urgent
Every day we are bombarded by a million urgent things that need doing. Urgent things are what I call ‘business as usual’. You have to do them or you quickly have an unhappy boss, hungry children or any myriad of impractical consequences.
The problem is that we let the weight of the urgent distract us from the discipline required to ultimately have control over our lives and our perception of time.
The secret is that the important things do not require much of your focus, they just require some of your attention every single day forever. The important things always generate time but only if stuck to with persistency and discipline.
The important things are where your freedom lies and the urgent things are your mouse wheel trap of perception / distraction.
For those of you who understand investment philosophy, let me explain it like this. Urgent things produce a linear return i.e. a consistent and negligible pay off. Important things take time to pay off but the return is exponential.
3. Value yourself enough to put yourself first
This is the clincher: once you have clarity around those 5 questions I posed to you earlier, you can build a plan to do the important things for long enough to gain your freedom, but none of this works unless you do it every day. And the reason that people don’t is that they fall into the trap of devaluing themselves.
We are hard wired to be connected to each other, yet we are conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is “selfish”. The truth is that at our core we all want to do things for others and by being honest with ourselves and putting ourselves first, it really means taking our best shot at giving our greatest value to the world.
Selfish behaviour comes from not valuing yourself. Selfless behaviour comes from valuing yourself enough to be the real you.
Changing the world isn’t easy but it is simple; we just have to start with ourselves. Who’s with me?
Please share your own thoughts and insights with me; there is no right or wrong opinion, just differing perspectives. Change is up to each of us, but we also need to help each other.