If your day to day is out of control, then who or what is to blame? Is it your busy office environment and its many distractions – phones ringing, a never ending task list, 1000’s of emails in your inbox, pesky colleagues tapping you on the shoulder? Or are you disorganised, overcommitted, or just plain overwhelmed by the mountainous terrain that is your everyday life?
There is only one solution. You see, none of this stuff is going to go away. The distractions, the interruptions… they are not going to stop. It’s up to YOU, and only you, and believe it or not, you are in more control than you think. But you may need to change your mindset because ultimately, and most importantly, you’ve got to accept in totality that you are in control of your behaviour, you are in control of your actions and reactions, and therefore only you are in control of your destiny!
Whether a misperception or not, some people can be thought of as TOO in control of things (yes you know what I am talking about) and they can take it to the extreme. At an acceptable level I prefer to regard a degree of control as ‘caring about outcomes’. Yet it’s not just about the outcomes, it’s also about caring for yourself, your time and how it’s spent. What it basically boils down to is this; being in the driver’s seat of your day to day, or even minute to minute, thoughts and actions.
There are always things that will be out of our control and that’s okay, so let’s focus on some of the things you CAN control…
It’s up to YOU
You need to shift your awareness and evaluate your decision making prowess. Are you reactive and easily distracted by the things going on around you? Is making an intentional choice to be more organised difficult for you? Do you fail at proactively finding the time to focus on a task or “get in the zone”? If you are answering yes to these questions then you may not even be aware that making conscious decisions about what you give your attention to is a challenge for you.
Check yourself out
One of my favourite topics for self-development and learning is the application of metacognition i.e. thinking about thinking. Basically taking a step back and evaluating your thoughts from an external viewpoint, the moment the thought occurs if possible, and especially before it translates into an action. Some things to consider… How do you operate? What habits (that you may not have ever noticed) are making it difficult for you to stay on task? What time of day are you most productive? If you can figure that one out then your next move is to protect that time at all costs.
Keep control of YOU
This is about setting boundaries and sticking to them, as well as keeping to your word, upholding your commitments and being accountable to yourself and others. Without boundaries it is easy to go off course and even lose control. However, there is room for error here. Are you focusing too much on things that are only important to you at the expense of other ‘just as important’ objectives? Sometimes doing your best is not really your best if you are doing more than necessary to accomplish your goals. On the other hand, if you constantly feel obliged to help others or respond to requests immediately then you need to remember that it’s okay to say NO… it’s like saying yes to the right things!
Eliminate Distractions
If you are setting boundaries for yourself then it’s a given you should be setting boundaries for others too. For example, put a ‘Do not disturb, come back at 2pm’ sign on your desk to eliminate physical distractions (or why not try a polite ‘email autoresponder’ version of the above to manage the expectations of those trying to email you). If the physical sign won’t fit because your desk is a mess then clean it up; you want to be able to reach for that thing you need precisely when you need it without having to scratch around like a squirrel in a trash can! Removing this one overwhelming distraction will free up headspace like nothing else. Creating a comfortable, inspiring personal space can only ever have a positive impact. And of course, when you really need to concentrate, switch off all notifications and digital devices. If you can, why not pop on some headphones and play some uplifting music to help you block out unwanted noise and get in the zone. Here’s my current favourite playlist
Close the loop
This is by far one of the best ways to free up some space in your mind (and hopefully the minds of some others). Does your mental or physical to-do list include numerous odds and ends that just need that final 5% to get them ticked off? Set aside the time, wholly commit to completing the tasks, and just DO IT! Enough said.
Seize the day
Stop putting up with the things you don’t need or want and make room for the good stuff. By this I mostly mean what you carry in your mind. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you well or contribute to the outcomes you truly want. Focus on progression and what you need to do to get there but at the same time enjoy the journey. And remember, no one is perfect; you don’t always have to get everything done, on time, all the time. If you’ve done your best then all it comes down to is thoughtfully managing expectations, and not feeling guilty about it. Stop over thinking or thinking ahead too much… live in the moment; you’ll be amazed how much time you really have in your day when you only let in the right stuff. And remember, seizing doesn’t mean strangling… always make sure to take some breaks and reset.
So, if you feel you’re out of control, begin now, seize the day and become an ‘In-Control Freak’. All in all just do your best, don’t give up when it seems too hard, and be encouraged by your wins, even the small ones. If you ‘keep on keeping on’ things will get easier, good habits will develop and you too will become the master of your destiny!